I’ve been dizzy for two weeks.

I woke up a fortnight ago and swung my legs over the edge of the bed and the world swirled.

Maybe I’m tired. Maybe I’ve got a brain tumour. Honestly they were the two options I gave myself.

So for the next few days I teetered about feeling faint and I realised that if I tilted my head at a very specific angle, the room would start spinning. I didn’t pass out. But I felt like I might.

Plus I started sleeping a lot. In bed by 7:30pm which is actually handy when you wake up early in the morning to talk on the radio. I think it was my brain trying to adjust to my fuzzy new balance.

Eventually I told a few friends I was semi-permanently dizzy and that’s when my vertigo went viral. So many people told me that they’ve experienced similar symptoms and the theory of ear crystals arrived. I know that sounds like some sort of mystical concept, but I’ve since discovered we all have crystals in our ear canals and sometimes they move.

I went to the GP and was promptly diagnosed with Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo or BPPV. It’s not a tumour. Relief. But also, I was still dizzy.

My doctor said it’d go away eventually and the condition is usually caused by a virus. I haven’t been sick since my COVID adventure in March, so I wobbled out of the medical centre and waited.

https://twitter.com/reblev/status/1673643791922917377?s=20

Another few days went by and I mentioned BPPV when I was talking to Dr Karl on air. He loves a brain teaser and he immediately launched into a description of my inner ear and the vestibular system.

Clearly mine was out of whack and that prompted a dizzying number of messages from my listeners saying that they too had joined the BPPV club. All kinds of advice on how to stop spinning floated my way, but the main direction was to track down a vestibular physiotherapist.

Confession: I am terrible at seeking medical help. I like to leave things and hope for the best. I think the worst, then cross my fingers that everything will eventually get better. This is not a good approach to life and health. Don’t be like me.

Finally, I lurched in the direction of a highly skilled vestibular physio. Essentially a physiotherapist for vertigo. As I sat in the waiting room, I started to make a list of things in 2023 that make me feel dizzy.

They include (in no particular order) the price of eggs ($8.70/dozen), Ryan Reynolds, Russia, doughnut Twisties, political spin, Glastonbury goodness, the delirium I feel when I scroll endlessly through Tik-Tok videos of long nosed dog and finally (I feel like I should whisper this one) the dizzying heights of ticket prices to see Taylor Swift.

Quick tangent: I love Swifties. I love the joy, fierce dedication, intelligence and passion of Taylor Swift fans. It’s clear how much she adores her audience. But how did we get to a point where a concert ticket is $1,249? The most expensive yes, but wow. My head hurts.

The good news is that when I finally lay down on the treatment table with a pair of frenzel goggles to track my eye movements, Caitlin the All Care physio was able to pinpoint my errant ear crystal and with a few expert movements, managed to steady my vertigo.

We decided it might have been a trampoline session with my youngest son that caused the disruption to regular transmission from ear to brain to eyes. She even videoed my cartoon-like pupils trying to correct the wobbly world. If only I could find a physio to treat the other things on my dizzy list.